Somehow related: Humans Need Not Apply “There will always be only a very small portion of the population working jobs based on popularity”
As an individual, if you want to achieve great things in life, ordinary goals are not enough. You need sexy goals. As a child, Richard Branson's professional goals were presumably not to get a good job and buy a house in the suburbs. Of course not. He surely had sexier goals than that. When she was young, the singer Lady Gaga surely did not aspire to get married, be a good housewife and sing in the church choir! We can also be certain that she had sexier goals in mind. Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with traditional goals. They serve us all very well. But, if you want to be incredible or you want to do something incredible, you need to make your goals sexy.
What Are Sexy Goals?
Sexy goals are goals that are interesting, provocative and desirable -- at least to you. It doesn't matter what others think. I know someone who grew up in East Berlin in a household of limited means. For her, a sexy goal was to get a good, stable, well paying job, be able to afford fashionable clothing and accessories and live a comfortable, stable life (as she used to see on West German television). And she's not shallow. In fact, she's one of the most intelligent people I know and is highly respected in her specialised field. Nevertheless, with her childhood background, achieving a comfortable, middle-class status in life was a sexy goal. And one that she has attained.
Incidentally, sexy goals are not for young people only. Roy Kroc was a multi-mixer sales man in his fifties when he got involved with a small chain of hamburger restaurants in California. He had the sexy goal of turning them into a nationwide chain. The owners had lesser aspirations. Roy eventually bought them out and succeeded in making McDonald's an America-wide, and eventually global, chain of fast food restaurants.
Achieving Sexy Goals
For some people, it is instinctive to think big, establish sexy goals and achieve them. Sadly, the rest of us need to work at it.
In order to achieve your sexy goals, you need to do three things. First, you need to deconstruct your goal in order to define it. Then you need to formulate it into a sexy goal. Finally, you need to prepare an action plan.
Deconstruct Your Goal
Whether you have a specific sexy goal in mind or just have some ideas about where you want to go, you absolutely must deconstruct your goal in order to ensure you go in the right direction. Indeed, a great many people have wasted their lives chasing goals that they thought were important, but which actually detracted from their true values and desires. A classic example of this is the hard working man or woman who works long hours, travels regularly and puts everything into work in order to get a good salary and provide for his (or her -- though traditionally men have been more likely to follow this route) family. Evidence suggests that such men later regret that decision.
Indeed, according to Bonnie Ware, in her book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, every man and many women that she spoke to regretted that they had worked too hard and had not spent more time with their families. The tragic irony, of course, was that these men presumably worked hard in order to provide for their families. Yet, if they had questioned their goals, they might have realised that there are better ways of providing for a family than working long hours. Spending time with the family, sharing and doing things together are doubtless more valuable than a bigger salary. (Read The Guardian's article about this book here.)
You can deconstruct your goal by questioning it. The first question you should ask is "Why do you wish to achieve this goal?" once you have answered, ask yourself "Why" about the answer. For example:
Q: Why do I wish to get a high paying job?
A: Because I want to provide for my family.
Q: Why do I want to provide for my family?
A: Because I want my children to grow up healthy, happy and with good opportunities in life.
And so on. This exercise can be a real eye opener.
You can and should also ask other questions, such as "Why have I not achieved this goal already?"; "How do I expect to feel once I have accomplished it?"; "Who do I know who has done something similar and what can I learn from her?"; "How will I feel if I fail to accomplish my goal?" and so on.
Better still, find a friend or family member to ask you these questions together with other open-ended questions (in other words, questions that cannot be answered with a simple "yes" or "no").
Small Talk and The Power of Open-Ended Questions
Incidentally, I did a Sexy Goals workshop at the Brussels Imagination Club last week -- and participants were impressed by the discoveries they made about themselves and their aims by answering these questions.
Make It Sexy